Finding Hope in the Expanse of Alaska – One Little Flower

singleflor

In the darkness of 5 am I woke with a start to the beeping of my alarm clock. My weary eyes looked about the dim room. Another day had begun. Groaning, I emerged from my blankets and fumbled around my room to reach my suitcase. I sat down as my fingers fumbled for the zipper. I had a long day ahead of me. I stretched my neck and decided to pause and say some morning prayers.

“Lord,” I started out.

I couldn’t find the words; couldn’t find the thankfulness. I sighed heavily. What use was it pretending? I started again, “My God, why have you forsaken me?” I quoted Psalms. “My God, my God! Why have you left me here?” I cried. “I am here where I have longed to be. I am surrounded, oh God, surrounded with people. I tried to leave my emotions back home, but I just can’t escape. I tried, but still I cannot understand it. I am not alone, Oh god. I cannot be! But why do I feel so lonely while I am not alone?”

Trudging through the woods later that day, my heart still bore the weight of that morning. “Why, why am I lonely?” I sighed and continued walking. I hiked and I hiked, fully knowing this could be the last time I’d see such amazing wildlife and still I ignored it. I ran ahead, attempting to escape the crowd of people; escape my interrupted thoughts. As I zoomed past the trees, a small white flash caught my eye. I stopped, back-tracked, and searched for the white flash that captivated me.

Before long, I found myself before the source of my curiosity. In a shining patch of light, amid green trees, bushes, and browning shrubs, stood one single white flower.

I think my heart skipped a beat when I saw that flower.

I stood staring at it until a member of the group called out and woke me from my trance. I shook my head and realized I’d been holding my breath. I took a deep breath and started to walk again. That deep breath was so refreshing. A burst of freshness; a burst of purity.

Just one little flower.

All alone, yet, surrounded still.

I smiled to myself, “I know that flower, I love that flower.” While I cry out, “God, why have you forsaken me?” He whispers to my heart, “I haven’t.” In this I find my security, in this I find my hope. God loves me, He’s chosen me, and He will never let me go, this is the most comforting thing to get me through life. While the waves of life toss me around and I crash against the rocks – I feel lonely. Even while I am surrounded by people, I feel lonely. While I feel lonely, the little flower comes back to me and reminds me of the truth: Even when I’m lonely, He hasn’t forsaken me. Even when I feel lonely, I am never alone.

One Little Flower

In the middle of everything,
In the midst of nothing.
Where life is not fair,
And trust is everything.
Just one little flower.

All alone,
Yet surrounded still.
Through the great unknown,
And winter chill.
Just one little flower.

In the grim reality,
Of this life.
The sense of fatality,
The constant strife.
Just one little flower.

One little flower,
Don’t you cry.
Evil can only devour,
If we don’t try.

One little flower,
Oh, so lonely.
Don’t be so dour,
Remember Him only.

When your spirit is heartless,
And the sky looks dim.
Don’t lose focus,
Lean on Him. 

There is light in this darkness,
Strength in the sorrow.
Hope for the hopeless,
The promise of tomorrow.

The one little flower,
There always is and will be,
One hidden in the clover,
Where no one can see.

Forever loved,
But feels unknown.
May feel lonely
But never truly alone.

Just one little flower.

– Katie Ann Huy

Advertisements