Chapter 5: The Sacrificial Heart
In chapter five, the focus is to be willing to be spent, to serve others and “eradicating pride.” Here are some quotes that give insight into the chapter:
“Am I willing to spend and be spent; not seeking to be ministered unto, but to minister?” – Oswald Chambers
“My greatest ongoing struggle as a church planting wife has been primarily with myself.”
Some personal thoughts spurred:
People will often say to me, you’re the pastor’s wife, you shouldn’t be doing this or that. This is actually a boost to my resolve that I must continue doing what I’m doing, I must serve all the more. If I, as a pastor’s wife, will not serve, then I’m worthless for the work of the Lord.
There’s a lot of serving behind the scenes as a pastor’s wife; that hasn’t proved to be my problem. I’m good at that, I’ve done it for many, many years. What’s proved difficult is serving not in my strength, but in my weakness. For me, putting myself out there, reaching out, doing the up front jobs, puts me in a place of having to depend on, trust in and rely on God like never before. Serving out of weakness has stripped me of my strength so that I have no other choice but to throw myself on God’s mercy and ask that He might work in and through me.
Chapter 6: The Faithful Heart – Forsaking Fear
This chapter goes right along with the lessons I’m learning about serving in weakness, being fearless and trusting God. It talks about being out there, planting a church, safety harnesses gone. This can be a fearful place to be, going out on a limb for God. Christine challenges:
“When we fight to stay in certain and controlled circumstances, seek comfort over discomfort, or need a fully mapped out plan, can we even claim faith in God at all?”
Fear spreads, fear can be sensed and felt. Fear says, “God, I do not believe you are enough for this.” Faith spreads, faith can be sensed and felt. Faith says, “God, I know that I’m not enough, but I believe you are more than enough for this.”
These two chapters were timely and further cemented the lessons God is teaching me right now. Fear leads to partial obedience (disobedience!), a plan B that seeks to take God’s will and tweak it to our strengths so we don’t have to rely fully on Him. I’m tired of serving in weakness, but my aim is to be spent in the service and glory of Him and doing this means I must be fully obedient.
Living fearless, transferring my fear of circumstance into a fear of God, that’s what I seek.